long overdue

I know I haven't been on for a while. More and more i realized that I haven't wanted to write. But then again, I usually have one or two hiatuses a year anyways...so this may not be uncharacteristic. And mabe a part of it was because I know eventually people I know are gonna be reading this all and it's true what someone said a while ago to me - if you can't handle it, don't read it. So even though i should think fuck it and just write whatever i want, i still can't get myself to do that.

Funny how this all started because I was the one who changed. And i realize now i shouldn't have felt at all guilty because it's not like I did it on purpose. It is true, no one has NOT changed, but at the time i was the only one recognized for it. Glad at least now we see I wasn't the only one who has done so.

And even after that being said, I realize that I should learn to just shut my mouth more. It seems to just be easier. Some people are bothered by things and never say a single word about it to the person they are pissed off at or sometimes it just comes out as only a fraction of how big of a deal it was in their head and they try to pass it off as nothing. Although it may sound stupid at first, I'm starting to think more and more that this is the way to go. It is true, i was always a little annoyed that they will never know and think things are really okay but it seems to be a system that is working for many people. Cause in a lot of situations when others don't speak up and i do, i always end up looking like the bitch. I'm tired of getting taking the blame when other people are sitting back thinking the same thing.

Everything is setting itself up nicely for next year. There were a lot more people moving out this year than i anticipated. I was actually quite shocked at the amount once i started asking around. Not really sure what jeff is doing, but i''m pretty sure he wasn't too keen on living with me either. In some weird way with jackie leaving, it worked out in that we would have never moved otherwise and we would have been stuck with our 520 in rent and utilities every winter month. Or maybe that's me just trying to make myself feel a little better.. lol

dan is great because he listens when i tell him to do stupid things like buy wasabi-covered peanuts and mix them with sour balls and make people unknowingly eat them. oh the smile whenever someone popped a wasabi ball into their mouths. it was hilarious. even more so because they were his friends, not mine who were dying. but apparently they do stuff liek that to eachother all the time. :/

i am oddly content. i feel like i shouldn't be though.