after half an hour of phoning people, i finally have june 8th off!!! and i have the 9th off too!!
so VAGINAS here i come!!!
and jeanette? is the offer still on the table?? please please??
i'll bring popsicles!! oh wait. no i cant can i?? i'll bring.. uh.. my love??

you can really see the effect the end of the year has on everyone. at our school, there is no cheering, no grins spread upon people's faces at the thought of summer approaching. There are tears, frowns and general sighs of pain. everyone is sick and gross.. and no one seems to have time for anything anymore. i've never been one of those people who pulls an all-nighter.. i just can't do it. when i'm tired, im tired. i find that if i write something at even 12 at night, it sounds like shit when i read it the next morning. its true when they say that people need sleep. everyone is so fucked up from the lack of it. people are incredibly sick, and ready to keel over, others have messed up periods, and some are just dead. it's hard to talk to people now, knowing that anything can make them crack. anything can make then yell at you or make them go to tears. i dont like it.. not at all

okay me go now and stop wasting my time

sam.. why was your daddy driving some kid home today around my area?

guess what?? you guys are prolly going to get BOILED hotdogs!! lol and I'M cooking them.. which means food poisoning all around..lol

wasting time on blogger.. really, no one wants to read this

it a quarter to seven... hmmm.. half an hour until i go...why aren't i doing homework??

im soo bored.. and im not going do my law test afterall.. boo me.. i guess that means 4 tests for me next week. ugh
hope your isp went well jaxs..muah. get better.

i'm feeling content.. and loved.. and needed. i've realized today that it doesn't take much and that its in all the little things, rather than the large overt ones. i appreciate the little talks with teachers and offers of sugar-filled pixie sticks. i like girly conversations full of excitment and laughter and getting caught up with friends you haven't truly talked-talked to in a while. a trip to the library afterschool, thats makes you feel as though you should be on a sit-com like saved by the bell and a ride offered even though they know perfectly well that you live on the other side of town. there was the realization that not all things have changed, and some things have restored themselves naturally.. to add to the happiness is the materialization of a long-awaited girls night out.. hahah when i say "girls night out" i think of 40 something mothers who make special dates with their friends to escape the stresses of day to day life.. lol
i'm excited.

i stayed up and re did my magnetic boards and put up all new pictures. i like..a lot! i realized that all my pictures with sam and jeanette are ones i can't put up.. you guys.. we need some real pictures!!!

i dont know what's wrong with my page.. it's fine for me... im thinking the pictures are taking up too much time to load so i took a few off.

hehehe pictures.. i hope no one minds

first day.. haunted walk..with the stalker

everyone in the dining hall...before the digestive problems started

ang and her algae sample...it actually says algae on the jar

vanessa and ang freezing their asses off

eating dinner out

last day, right before the gifted nazi yelled at us

ohh i've found a new obsession to this girlie band- letters to cleo.. and save ferris.. okay maybe its not an obsession.. i just found a couple of their songs last night.. i like..and i found that one i liked in the movie 10 things.

wow im done that stupid isp.. my last isp done!! whoohoo!!
sorry about the threats to your ovaries everyone..lol

okay i;m done with my whiny girliness.. just dont ask
sam.. so when is the vagina monologues?

i wasn't sure what was going on.. but i didn't think that i was an inconvienence. yep.. that's what i am... an inconvienence.

i know nothing is going to happen.. but i always do this- i torture myself by making up little scenarios in my head. they either freak me out because the possibility is too scary, or they're really good and when they don't happen, for some reason i get kinda let down, even though there was no possibility of it happening anyways. i really dont care what happens.. i just dont like the weirdness before deciding what happens.. i'm not supposed to be doing these stupid things.. geez..
did that make ANY sense at all?
i;m starving.. havent eaten since 1030.. and i'll save the details for you guys tomrrow..

oh MY god!! i can't believe that even happened.. not little ol' me..this is going to be interesting.

so did everyone cath my mental retardation speech?? or was it only jaxs that noticed?

craziness with jaxs in the car.. just another one of our everyday adventures

so after reading sam's blog..
i feel like a sleepover.. in fact many sleepovers. it's decided that once summer comes, there will be more bowls of chips and buttery popcorn and tubs of ice cream. and we'll all be in our cozy, fluffy pjs and have our contacts out, throw out all the sheets and pillows on the floor and do stupid things like yoga or board games or facials.. just plain ol' girly fun. we'll excitedly gossip and giggle about boys, we'll reminise and generally catch up. we will get acne and gain 5 pounds from staying up and eating crap, but it'll be great.

so this monday, my first day back from queens, my ta wants to do a ta interview with me. she calls up my marks on the computer, looks at it and says " i dont think its even worth doing a ta interview with you because you havent really progressed at all". now if that isnt discouraging i dont know what is...

instead of doing homework, i distract people on the phone. the urge seems to hit around 10-11 o'clock every night. maybe i am feeling "needy". i just feel like i've lost touch with so many people. i want them back. i've been calling up people i've never really called before and have been having amazing conversations. i think it helps to reassure me that they're still there- that they havent totally disappeared and perhaps things aren't as out of reach as i thought they were. i feel loved this week. everything's been pretty great *beams with goodness*
btw, i think jess not getting to be a speaker at her own grad is crazy.. she's the most involved student the school ever had.. and i know that lots of people voted for her and its the way that the whole voting system worked that screwed her over. her votes were split because she was notminated in two catgories. next year its gonna be different, cause thats just unfair.

today i was reminded of why i love my friends. each and every one of them.

and now im off to take a strawberry bubble-filled bath. yes.. a bubble bath at 12 in the morning sounds great.

98 days til my birthday
just thought you would like to know : )

i want to know what's happening, but at the same time don't feel like its my right to intrude. nothing is said; if anything an awkward "how are things?" followed by an equally awkward "okay i guess". i know there's something more, something being kept hidden. a part of me wants to throw my arms around and say everything will be okay and maybe even have a good cry, but another part knows that keeping it quiet is maybe what they need. i would have liked someone to be there, someone just to act as a release but then again, i didn't want to talk about it either. The need for normalcy has to be respected, but i wish i could do more.

on another note. someone took my old blogger url. some chick named angela.. grr.. who apparently lives in japan, and feels the need to mention that twice in her first blog. okay so maybe im a little disgruntled. for some reason or another i thought i would have it forever, to see it, click here

if this trip had accomplished anything (because i got 0 units out of it), it was to make me more at ease with this whole university thing. going there made me realize that the things people have said about mary ward, which i've always kinda considered mere 'hooplah', is at least, somewhat true. although i am so ready to leave this house and start over again, the fact still remains that its a whole new thing in university, where marks actually matter and what you do will in some ways affect your life and there's a lot more distractions, its a whole new way of learning and the fact that i still dont have a program. But i relalized its not ALL that different. Thy have lecture halls like the ones we have in the caf, but bigger. they have science rooms with black lab tables like ours. they have buildings dedicated to certain subjects, which we have in the form of resource rooms. I know that i'll be able to book three hour labs and still book in time for fun and homework, because i will have 5 years of schedualing, talking to teachers i dont like, writing last minute essays, and pulling shit out of my ass and calling it work behind me, whereas others will be mere rookies. If anything, i feel more comfortable knowing that im going in just a little bit more prepared than others, and really, thats all i need right now.

queens was amazing, and sorry that i didnt blog, but the day i went on, it didnt work for some reason. i did write you e mails.. well some of you.
i have learned a few things.
1) caf food, although it looks good, is sometimes not good going in, or coming out.
2) i dont like showers that everyone has access to, nor toilets, or rooms in general that everyone has access to in which you are partly or completely naked in
3) i cant live in dorm
4) every boy that you think is cute at this program, will inevitably be in grade 10
5) ginos are everywhere, and equally as annoying

it was fun and i got to dig in my pond and study stuff under a microscope even though it was freezing the day we went out and i had sandals on and ended up ankle deep in the water, which almost turned my toes blue. i got to drug up zooplankton and watch them swim. i got to touch snails and other shelled creatures that didnt like me peeling them off their rock. i got to walk around with a bag, and my "grown up" coat and a cup of tim horton's coffee and feel like a university student (because to me, that what ALL unviersity students look like). i got to be rory gilmour in a small town. i got in trouble for being in the boys' room and secretly pinning their underwear up on the herpes bulletin boards with vanessa.. and then felt really bad afterwards when they talked about how much trouble we could potentially be in, and how it was all my fault and what the gifted nazi would do...but then i didnt get in trouble, so its okay. i got to buy beads and make hemp bracelets and then get caught in a downpour walking home. i got to take pictures, i got to bond with teachers i got to spend time with my friends. it was great.

i'm off to queens.. miss me!!!
now off to pack, cause im running out of time, and when i got home, i found out that someone had stolen my washing machine and dryer and left my still-damp clothes in a pile on top of my hamper. so here i go to wash everything and pack it .. turrah!

wonderful time at wonderland.. even though it was freezing cold
jeff was wearing a t shirt.. and almost wore flipflops till i made him change into real shoes.. and the rest of us had like a t shirt and a light jacket or sweater. it didnt seem that cold when we boarded the bus.. but by the time we got there, it was blowing wind and it made your face ouch and you body shiver. my mom was right to tell me to wear a coat.. we all needed parkas. we didnt really feel like going on roller coasters.. cause if it was already cold and windy on the ground, our faces would insta-chap hurdling through the open air at 300 km/h. it didnt seem like it would be fun..but it turned out better than anticipated, which goes to show that everything is fun with the right people. then after, since spiderman was sold out EVERYWHERE, me and my boys had a koren BBQ adventure.. okay, so maybe it was only an adventure for me. you get to cook your own meat and stuff on this grill built into your table....so what if i almost gave myself food poisoning 15 times. lol

no excuse me while i go and try to dig up something from my pile to wear tomorrow.

go here and click on the virtual model thing on the left, bottom.
you get to make your own virtual model and try clothes on.. really its a way of trying to lure you into buying their clothes, but its still fun.
sorry.. no boy models...believe me.. i was trying to find my virtual model a boytoy.

kopach is a math wench
Omigosh.. i almost didnt take my test today because of her.. and really.. i tried to be nice.. i didnt even get my question out and she closed the door on my face. Is there something going on between her and my math teacher?? cause it seemed as though as soon as i mentioned his name, she got all "get out of my face and go deal with him yourself" geez.. you know he's been away a couple of days.. you didnt have to be so bitchy about it. you didnt even know what i was about to ask. these are things that make little boys steal their father's gun.

i have to take this math 17 test tomorrow.. i over-estimated my knowledge of the unit.. i suck at trig..
vanessa you at school tomorrow? call me on my cell and find me

remember these quizzes? heheh it's BAAACCKKK
http://www.stumpyourfriends.com/stump2.cgi?0.40160142002
for some reason the html isnt showing up.. so you'll just have to cut and paste