must... not...go...to ....sleeep.... must ..wait..for..laundry..to....stop washing...so ...i ..can...put..it...into dryer.
must stay awake.. must stay awake. if i dont get this laundry done, i will have no underwear for tomrrow... yes.. i have reached the end. a good solid three weeks of not doing laundry.. okay i cheated and threw in a pair of uniform pants and a couple of dress shirts into my mom's wash.. but.. still three weeks without doing laundry. er.. im not sure if thats something to be proud of.. really this night is only a consequence of my laziness.

i'm beaten.. i'm worn out. i'm not even really meeting my weekly objectives as i have it planned out.. i feel stuck.. stagnant.. like a big blob that cant seem to get moving. tomrrow will be better.. will finish unit 13 english in its entirety and hope that no workin on sunday so can start making a dent in religion isp. i need some me time.. what am i talking about? i have TOO MUCH me time.. two hours with amazing rce and a tub of mango ice cream is not good.
by the way.. i love those two gay guys!!!

if it keeps snowing like this, all the tadpoles wont hatch and there will be no aquatic life to study!! me and vanessa will have to crack through the ice just to look at seaweed

i hope you all missed me, even though it has only been four days
so its decided. no religion retreat for me. the mere thought of trying to decide again is giving me stress. i figure, the fact that i didnt try harder to go means that i dont really care about it all that much.. and plus the calibre of the people going? meh? i couldve sworn ms. ireland said there was only about 25 people signed up so far. yeah it will be great, and yeah there will be loads of bonding, but i talk to almost everyone at school anyways.maybe not the bonding that will be reached at retreat,but good enough for me....and with the way things are going, the majority of the grade 12s are going to be AT SCHOOL instead of the retreat. really i dont feel like rushing anymore. and now i willhave 30 extra bucks to spend.. yay me!

im tired.. and i'm hurting. 10 hours today on my feet. i can feel the vericose veins forming. i got a family and friends discount today at footlocker and champs, and heard that footlocker is also having a buy one pair, get the next one half price sale and is also adding on the 30% for friends and family day as well. Can you just picture the excitement?? so i went, but the selection was non-existant. the women's shoes had half a wall, which they shared with kids. mens had the whole wall on the other side.. in fact a bigger wall. my friend had like three pairs of shoes he wanted from his side of the store, while i was standing on my side looking at the same 5 pairs of shoes repeated in different colours. figures.. if only i had known yesterday. i guess i should snoop around in the drawers at work more often.

the italy people came back today, and not long ago, so did the england people, and after hearing all of their stories and seeing the excitied looks on their faces as they are telling them, i begin to feel myself sink. i had obviously missed something great. i always knoew i did, but it only hits home when you see these people come back and tell you how surreal things were and their new life experiences which they have added to their ever-growing list. but at the same time i wonder if i too would have the same reaction. i dont appreciate buildings or even statues or monuments the way i feel i should. i dont look at them in awe. i look and think, "oh thats pretty" and then walk away. but then again, maybe it would all change once im there.. and its probably different with your friends there with you too.. its okay, cause one day i'llbe there too.. one day..

i am a big loser
sooo.. i see this small doughnut shaped thing made out of plastic.. and its flat. and what did i do with it? i stick it on my finger like a ring.. and i cant get it off now.. now i have a plastic disk on my finger and a red knuckle.

so for the purpose of bring everyone back to reality, cause i do do that so well, i just had my ta interview today. i went after charlotte who had an amazing 15 untis left.. gee i guess those university deadlines do make you work harder. surprisingly i am not as bad off as i thought i was. 46 units in 41 days. unfortunatly, its more like 32 days for me after all of these trips and 20 tests..ugh.. how did i ever have so many tests? so not so bad. yay me
skillicorn still hasnt marked my isp.. im convinced that she doesnt want to read my crap.

i;m special too
i got my call from soupy from italy yesterday. it was 1 in the morning for them, and about 5 hours before they left for the plane. hehehe they're home!!! i missed you guys

i got my course in queens!! soo happy!!! course with vanessa, rooming with jaxs.. hahah jaxs doesn't know what course she got cause the paper cut off her name.. funny.
my girls all got their first choices.. which rocked.. someone didnt even get one of her four..

chemi-licious
today was one big fat chem day.. first period i went to lis' ta to ask dalton about a seminar. i look at he sheets from lis' chem contest practice and laugh at our stupidness for not knowing these things.. even though they were really hard. i then go to skillicorn to get my kick-ass cheat sheet approved.. she laughed when she saw all the examples i wrote down, inthe mircoscopic writting. then off to take my chem mid term.. it was a 2 1/2 hour midterm.. and it took me only 1 1/2 hours.. i was worried i missed a page somewhere.. but there were these questions crossed out and stuff.. i hope i wasnt supposed to do them. After school was in my bedroom trying to remeber how to bond and balance equations. it was soo gross and jaxs doesn't have the tables we did last year, which makes it even more confusing. then mark comes over in a desperate attempt to finish his chem course and gets a crash course in organic chemistry and nomenclature.. now its yoyo on icq.. its kinda funny really.. everyone hates chem. my head is numb.. but i feel good cause i actually remember some stuff. getting past this midterm has in a way cleaned the slate and let me start all over again, with a new freshness.. heheeh

drools
my boy toy was on rosie today.. but he only sang (which was just so sexalicious) and didnt get an interview.. what a jip.
hahah my mom likes him too.. its so funny watching her go.. yep that guy is sexy, if you found a guy like that i would approve..
but mark disturbed my viewing

i dont know what happened today, but i dont think i like it

i'm happy, but grossed out, im jealous, but still grossed out
ahhhh petrina and jeff... jeff and petrina.. im soo weirded out.. but at the same time, it was bound to happen.. everyone already thought so anyways. wow see how much you miss when you go off to italy sam, sam and jeanette? haha vanessa and i are wicked for helping jeff come up with his super cheesy plan. but she liked it, i know she did

sometimes i think i say things i shouldn't. but i think at the same time, people should know, cause i would. im a firm believer im communication-to a certain extent. lol

thanks sam for your notes
i finally did some hard core (yes... thats right, i said hard core) chemistry studying today cause i realize that i have to get this midterm done someday. im aiming for tuesday. and that way, it'll still be done by the time sam comes back, and she won't eat me. even though everyone who has taken it (about 5 people) has said that their cheat sheet wasn't of any use to them, i fail to accept this and just think that their cheat sheets simpy weren't good enough. so i spent today making a kick ass cheat sheet. i think its too good and skillicorn wont let me take it in. i have definitions, examples, and even instuctions on how to do things on that sucker. and the size of my writting in some places, is almost non-existent. my plan was to make it so hard to read, that she wont, and will just sign the bloody paper.

sizzle sizzle
oh before i forget, i saw the closing ceremonies of the olympics, and you know when they put out the flame and charlotte church and some other dude were singing? i was convinced i recognized that guy from somewhere. and today, thanks to 20/20, it all makes sense. he was on this episode of ally mcbeal that i watched.. he was a shy, geeky (but gorgeous) boy who wanted to sue this girl that wouldnt go to the prom with him. ally went with him instead, and eventually coaxed him to sing at his prom, and he did and had this wicked andrea boccelli-like voice (but in a hotter package.. wayyy hotter lol) so yeah me, being the loser that i am, went and found him on the internet.. enjoy.. his voice makes me melt like butter... even though its all opera-ish.. i think it's only cause i know its coming from him.. cause there's this song called 'youre still you' and if you listen to it, it sounds like andrew lloyd webber, but if you watch him sing it, oh, it's so goddamn sexy. *giggles* it makes me wanna follow him around asking him if i can have his babies. oh yeah, he's only 20 (yeah for a sec, i was like.. aww so old.. but really, its not far at all).. vanessa, jaxs, get the search dogs, we're gonna find him. he;s my new pretty-boy-with-big-ambitions crush since alexandre despatie failed so miserably.

jeff and steph's big brithday dinner today.. everyone was there. best part of the night?
1. jeff getting creamed i the face with what was supposed to be a cream pie, but ended up being two coffee filters and whipped cream
2. jeff and steph wearing moose helmets and trying to 'butt' eachother like dorks.
3. my yackers asking the hot waiter for his number
4. my yackers, me, vanessa, and petrina dying of laughter before we could hear what the hot waiter said in response.
5. bev and her stories.. i love bev.
6. gettig caught up in the big plan...although it wasn't in the night

today was the craziest day. not because of actual things that happened, but rather the potential of things to happen, and the things i found out. i had a sudden yearning for something i didn't have, which someone else did. i didn't want that specific thing, but something like it.. im soo jealous.. vanessa.. if the time ever comes, i want you and jaxs to help. (i like how it kinda turned into christine's blog, where no one would understand except for the people involved and everyone else is lost...lol) and my opinion of someone changed drastically today.. from me having a good time with him/her, to me thinking that he/her is a big jerk, and me not wanting to have a good time with this person based simply on principles and not because i dont want to.

scaring myself
my computer is making funny noises. like static noises (although irregular and more crunchy), from the speakers. but when i mute the speakers, the noise is still there.. which began to creep me out. either my computer is about to explode or there's poltergeist (which then really made me freak myself out). then i hear the basement's dehumidifyer switch on, and then automatically off. it doesnt do this normally.. i keep on hearing it click on and off. and im the only one up, and all alone in the basement.. and then the static noises stop and suddenly the dehumidifyer is working again.. geez.. creepy

too many
april 25th- death of a salesman play for english
april 30th-may1st- grade 12 retreat
may 3rd-physics goes to wonderland
may 5th-10th- queen's
really. i have about 6 trips this whole year and four of them have to be all within 2 1/2 weeks. geez\but cant wait!

we realized today, that a lot of people have their own little 'stories'. little pieces of gossip passed around from person to person about particular people. like for instance everyone, including a certain female comm teacher seriously thought a certain someone was going out with a certain somone else.... we have decided that there aren't any stories of either of us... we're basically broing and are not contreversial in any way. Although i guess it is better to have no stories than a bunch of bad ones which are spread all around the school, it would be nice to have some good ones. Like when we walk past, why aren't people like "hey there goes those two girls with the hot boyfriends?" or "those two are classy bitches aren't they?" or "hey those are the two sweet girls who like get along with everyone" okay so maybe theyre bad examples.. but then at the same time, im pretty sure some things ciculate about me.. and im kinda curious.. i kninda want to know whats being said -the good and the bad... i dont care if people think im a bitch or cold-hearted, or even perhaps fake. i just want to find out.

i like the planet cafe.. a good place to work... unless VANESSA is there!!! i swear to god, everytime me and this girl get together, its nothing but mindless talking and giggly, girly gossip. a whole morning of it.. hehehehe. we both learned a lot though... and i added to my wall of fame.

you guys!!!! im finally on my chem mid term!!! go me!
i havent even studied yet.. *wimper* i dont want to... its sooo gross.. do i really need to be reminded of all that grossness?? whats even worst about it? i have to restudy all of it for the final... why couldnt i just have left the midterm and do them both at the end??? yeah yeah i know..

i spent my day in seclusion.. well almost. all morning stayed in ta room doing work and pigging out on popcorn, chocolate, and bits cheese cracker sticks with three other ta members. ta bonding lol.. i laugh, but really it was. then spent the afternoon in the planet cafe. i was nice and quiet. did lots of work with minimal distraction. everyone has to see my drawings of people in the cafe wall. i add to it continually.. maybe youll be up there too.. im quite an artist.. lol
i broke my nail. i know its such a girl thing to say, but it really hurts.. like a third of it is ripping off.. i dont even know how it happened. but i dont like not having a nail there and only feeling FINGER!

nothing
after jaxs, vanessa, and i had our adventure at markville, i came home and after making dinner, felt a strange urge to do homework (i think cause my brain knew i was going to do nothing tomorrow). so i sat and started to read law.. but i just stopped.. i spent like 3 hours just thinking.. daydreaming...sorting things out in my head. Its not like i solved or did anything in those three hours.. so really, it was an utter waste of time.

8 ways to a new me
i have decided that i need a new routine. new resolutions which are a must for me to finish this year without a nervous breakdown.
1. When i get home, no more lying around watching tv and trying not to fall asleep. Will start homework right away.
2. After dinner will work non-stop from 6-9 at the kitchen table. Will extend to possibly 10 if need arises.
3. No more chatting on the phone. dont call me unless a) you have sawed your hand off and need instructions on how to put it back on, b) are really really dying to talk to me and if you don;t, will spontaneously combust, or c) have won the lottery and would like me to come help you spend your new fotune.
4. After 10 will 'me' time. Every girls needs time to relax, read books, primp, and watch gilmour girls.
5. Read more non-school books and less Teen People.
6. Resolve to get to bed by 11, 11:30 the latest so that i can be raring to go the next morning.
7. Drink more water so i will be well hydrated and not have headaches or dry eyes and body will thank me.
8. Find ways to solve what i believe to be a developing sleeping disorder. Body is tired and eyes are tired, but head wont stop going which results in 3 hours of tossing and turning. And after many days of this, it equals one cranky, tired, not-so-hot-looking, bitchy ang.

so church came in today to help explain this whole no scheduled days thing they have planned out for next year, and we sorta got off topic at the end and were talking about how the school ran in general, and the purpose of self-directed learning and everything. so we're talking, and church would use examples off the top of his head like how students who are on unit 4 for example in january should have a serious discussion with their teachers and ta about how they plan to finish the course and if it really is realistic to keep it..and me and vanessa kept on laughing cause every example that he used, could have been US!! (although he didnt know that) i was only done unit 5 in january in law, and vanessa's only like on unit 5 now for history.. so while he's talking about these hypothetical students who are doing very badly and who wont finish their courses, vanessa and i are thinking, then that means all of the grade 12s aren't finishing this year, including us. thanks sir.. lol

So i get a frantic call from my mom this morning asking for her liscense plate number. I wonder what could be going on so i answer her, to which she resonds, "my car was stolen". It was bad that i was mildly amused by my mom's misfortune, it was even worse when i thought maybe she only thinks her car was stolen. Afterall she did just get off from a night shift and should be tired, and who in their right minds would steal a 15 year old dodge anyways? My mom is a firm believer that things always happen for a reason. I told her it was God's way of telling her to finally get rid of the death trap that was her car. Mabye we can now get a new car, you know, one with functioning automatic door locks, safety features such as airbags, a left turn signal that works all the time and not just sporatically, and one which doesn't leak mysterious fluids or has mysterious stains from our childhood. What are the chance of a stolen car turning up again anyways?

HALLEUAH!!!
okay its finally done.. well almost, i still have do do some of the appendixes but no worries. phew! i spent all day on practically doing only appendixes and footnotes. i had to stop 4 times and take 15 minute breaks cause i swear i had a headache and was nauseous at the same time. my legs have fallen asleep and the cookies i just had prolly went straight to my hips cause i've been sitting in this chair all day...gee its long and no one has proof read it but i dont care anymore! its done.