the major forms of oral discourse
and sometimes the cliches are true. sometimes you just don't know what you have til it's gone. but in this case, its more of an 'i'm glad i'm not in so and so's position'. hearing her talk about all her crap just made me more thankful for what i had. yes, its not ideal and there are a few rough spots here and there. but the important things...the things that in the end will be what matters are there. at the end of the day, i know that i could ask for anything.
it all seemed perfect. but one day she opened her eyes and realized things had fallen apart..that she had left everything she had known and moved to another city to start a new life. everything seemed to come as a package deal- and without the boy; the house, the dog, the life she had built, would also be gone.
five years no longer seems so far. we bonded about our young, girlish ideals. how we had everything on a timeline-approximate ages for marriage, the first kid by the time we're thirty (sidenote: does anyone else remember that full house episode where danny tanner the father, freaks out about turning thirty? wasn't DJ like already at least 10 then?), enough time to enjoy our retirement. she says time seems to be running out. and then it hit me...wow thats a lot to accomplish in the span of ten years. i mean even if you date someone for a couple of years and you realize that he/she's not the one, you've narrowed your window even further.
strange how when we were young, growing up took so long and now it just seems to be coming all to fast.
hmm and now looking over this post again, i realized that i went from one thought and sorta drifted to another..but that is the way it is...
Friday, June 25, 2004
Sunday, June 20, 2004
so maybe i should have slept more than four hours before going into my 9 and a half hour shift today. i was in such a crappy mood and realized that i started to take it out on people. like the baguette lady..mer. but really, its not my fault if no one was there at the cash. i need some sleep and then i will be better. these past few weeks have been crazy.. but crazy in a good way i guess. ahhh
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
stripes
so now the hours have been upped to about 47 this week. 27 of them still to go.. ahhh. although im kinda hoping that they send me home early (cause really, wednesdays are usually dead), i also think what the hell am i doing anyways? might as well be earning that wonderful 7.65 an hour.. lol but you know what? im actually starting to like this place. it's true, a smaller staff does make a helluva difference.
speaking of the store. since it has gotten hot, and my jacob knits and old navy three quarter length shirts are no longer appropriate for the 30 degree weather, i have been having problems wearing things that look 'gap-ish'. lets face it, all of my t-shirts are pretty distinctly not gap. the ones that aren't screaming American eagle or bluenotes fake vintage are ones with felix the cat or a little yellow rubber duckie on them. and of course this meant shopping spree. but considering, it wasnt a huge shopping spree. 50% off makes a helluva difference.
i appreciate the dr.'s office so much more now. running around the office for 9 hours is much easier than being people's bitch in a retail setting for 5. it makes a helluva difference (haha i stuck that in again for consistency).
so now the hours have been upped to about 47 this week. 27 of them still to go.. ahhh. although im kinda hoping that they send me home early (cause really, wednesdays are usually dead), i also think what the hell am i doing anyways? might as well be earning that wonderful 7.65 an hour.. lol but you know what? im actually starting to like this place. it's true, a smaller staff does make a helluva difference.
speaking of the store. since it has gotten hot, and my jacob knits and old navy three quarter length shirts are no longer appropriate for the 30 degree weather, i have been having problems wearing things that look 'gap-ish'. lets face it, all of my t-shirts are pretty distinctly not gap. the ones that aren't screaming American eagle or bluenotes fake vintage are ones with felix the cat or a little yellow rubber duckie on them. and of course this meant shopping spree. but considering, it wasnt a huge shopping spree. 50% off makes a helluva difference.
i appreciate the dr.'s office so much more now. running around the office for 9 hours is much easier than being people's bitch in a retail setting for 5. it makes a helluva difference (haha i stuck that in again for consistency).
Sunday, June 06, 2004
millions of peaches
i know this seems to be an ongoing topic for a lot of us, but im really thankful for these past few weeks. and although it hasn't been 'summer' in the same was as summer's past, we really should have ever expected it to be. get-togethers are far less emotionally driven. last year was all about the 'getting it all in before we separate' thing. there just doesn't seem to be that urgency anymore. and no matter what people tell you, its different when you dont see these people on a regular basis. things get awkward, phone calls that were once easy become more strange, simply because the times betweeen talking are only getting bigger. i don't need to be great with everyone, cause as expected the people i NEED to be with me are exactly where they should be. and although i see even these people far less than usual, i like that it's okay to only see them every so often and still be good.
sometimes people just need to suck it up. so what if youre missing out on shit. we all are. and its not just this year either. how many times have people not been able to come to parties or see others cause they had to pull a late shift at the store, or something like that? people need to start realizing that hey a lot of us would kill for an amazing job and gladly sacrifice a few of the impromtu get-togethers just so they know they will be financially sound for at least another school term. you can't complain and then not make an effort. you also can't complain about things you willingly volunteered yourself for.
i see it sometimes...how things have changed since the boy has come along. not saying that he took away from my life or anything, its been quite the opposite. but sometimes i cant help but sit back and wonder if i have indeed turned into one of those girls; one of those girls that i always didnt want to be. it gets confusing, the fine line between choosing your boyfriend over everyone else, and just choosing. i dont know how objective i am. i sometimes wonder if any of the other people feel as though they've lost part of me. i never wanted to do that, if that is the case. i never wanted to be one of those girls attached at the hip, who dragged or was dragged, in some sort of fused two-headed monster...or one of those girls who are stupid and cant function on their own. i guess things are different once you experience them.
i know this seems to be an ongoing topic for a lot of us, but im really thankful for these past few weeks. and although it hasn't been 'summer' in the same was as summer's past, we really should have ever expected it to be. get-togethers are far less emotionally driven. last year was all about the 'getting it all in before we separate' thing. there just doesn't seem to be that urgency anymore. and no matter what people tell you, its different when you dont see these people on a regular basis. things get awkward, phone calls that were once easy become more strange, simply because the times betweeen talking are only getting bigger. i don't need to be great with everyone, cause as expected the people i NEED to be with me are exactly where they should be. and although i see even these people far less than usual, i like that it's okay to only see them every so often and still be good.
sometimes people just need to suck it up. so what if youre missing out on shit. we all are. and its not just this year either. how many times have people not been able to come to parties or see others cause they had to pull a late shift at the store, or something like that? people need to start realizing that hey a lot of us would kill for an amazing job and gladly sacrifice a few of the impromtu get-togethers just so they know they will be financially sound for at least another school term. you can't complain and then not make an effort. you also can't complain about things you willingly volunteered yourself for.
i see it sometimes...how things have changed since the boy has come along. not saying that he took away from my life or anything, its been quite the opposite. but sometimes i cant help but sit back and wonder if i have indeed turned into one of those girls; one of those girls that i always didnt want to be. it gets confusing, the fine line between choosing your boyfriend over everyone else, and just choosing. i dont know how objective i am. i sometimes wonder if any of the other people feel as though they've lost part of me. i never wanted to do that, if that is the case. i never wanted to be one of those girls attached at the hip, who dragged or was dragged, in some sort of fused two-headed monster...or one of those girls who are stupid and cant function on their own. i guess things are different once you experience them.
sitting
it's a 44 hour week this week. but it's not looking so bad actually. 44 hours spread over the course of 7 days doesn't seem so bad at all. however, this does prevent me from visiting the house this weekend with jaxs. booo
sometimes all i need is a little freak out in the laundry room with a good friend. haha. the news was great and weird all at the same time. we'll see how this all reveals itself now wont we? im happy. well after the freaking out is now cleared away that is. but i still dont know what to say.
is it sad and old woman-ish that i am excited that i readvched the 34000 shopper's optimum point level? haha. whatever, that means free crap for me! yipeee
nothing much has happened. i didn't really want to post, just felt more obligated to than anything else. i think that's horrible.
it's a 44 hour week this week. but it's not looking so bad actually. 44 hours spread over the course of 7 days doesn't seem so bad at all. however, this does prevent me from visiting the house this weekend with jaxs. booo
sometimes all i need is a little freak out in the laundry room with a good friend. haha. the news was great and weird all at the same time. we'll see how this all reveals itself now wont we? im happy. well after the freaking out is now cleared away that is. but i still dont know what to say.
is it sad and old woman-ish that i am excited that i readvched the 34000 shopper's optimum point level? haha. whatever, that means free crap for me! yipeee
nothing much has happened. i didn't really want to post, just felt more obligated to than anything else. i think that's horrible.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
while talking about birthday presents
mark: so what do you think i should get for beth? a plant? (he was half joking of course)
me: umm..how long have you been going out with beth now? i think maybe you should get her something more meaningful. a plant is the sorta thing that you give your aunt when she moves into a new house.
mark: lol...i got yoyo's mom a plant when she moved into her new house.
me: see! what you're saying is that beth and yoyo's mom are on the same plant-receiving level.
mark: well i won't get the same plant. i'll get a bigger and more colourful one. they can get pretty expensive!
sigh..oh mark.
mark: so what do you think i should get for beth? a plant? (he was half joking of course)
me: umm..how long have you been going out with beth now? i think maybe you should get her something more meaningful. a plant is the sorta thing that you give your aunt when she moves into a new house.
mark: lol...i got yoyo's mom a plant when she moved into her new house.
me: see! what you're saying is that beth and yoyo's mom are on the same plant-receiving level.
mark: well i won't get the same plant. i'll get a bigger and more colourful one. they can get pretty expensive!
sigh..oh mark.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
you can kiss my ass html
so even though i am computer stupid, i managed to figure out this blog thing on my own. oh man. so the comments are back and im feeling awesome, as i usually do after i conquer things like this. quite minor and insignificant to some, but a major accomplishment over here. *beams* however, what i won't tell you right off the bat was that it was largely trial and error. a lot of "hmm lets paste this over...here" and "hmmm....what happens if we delete...this". but i figure some form of thought had to be put into it..you know, with the choosing of what random thing to do and all. but thank you brian for trying. was almost going to give up.
so even though i am computer stupid, i managed to figure out this blog thing on my own. oh man. so the comments are back and im feeling awesome, as i usually do after i conquer things like this. quite minor and insignificant to some, but a major accomplishment over here. *beams* however, what i won't tell you right off the bat was that it was largely trial and error. a lot of "hmm lets paste this over...here" and "hmmm....what happens if we delete...this". but i figure some form of thought had to be put into it..you know, with the choosing of what random thing to do and all. but thank you brian for trying. was almost going to give up.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
major discoveries
i was reading reader's digest at work, cause i was as bored as hell for a few hours and theres this article about pet fish and symptoms they exhibit when they are sick. so maybe my fish weren't just being weird, and were really sick. lol sushi used to sleep up at the top of the bowl with his fins all droopy. apparently thats a sign of lack of oxygen in the water and of skin irritation. stupid retarded london water. hmm or maybe it was the brita water... AND both fishes did this thing called a 'shimmy' where they would swim really fast, but stay in the same spot...think that mc hammer dance.. but for fishes. that's a sign of skin irritation as well. hmm
i used my masterful engineering skills to build me a giant cupcake. i burned my tongue on a hot knife. i am smart.
shopping with matty is very entertaining indeed. i think he may be one of the few guys who truly shops but isnt gay. but if youre ever getting discounts for him, remind him to shut up. he isnt very smooth at all. way to go future millionare.
summer hit me a few nights ago. petrina picked me up from work on saturday and the night was spent just finding out what people are up to, if anything. nothign was happening and it looked like a night at timmy's with the three (we got amanda too) of us in a girl gab fest.. but then the guys called and there was an impromtu late night breakfast at the station. summer is all about the improptu, last minute stuff that you least expect to happen.. sigh.
i am frozen and dreading work.. mer...
i was reading reader's digest at work, cause i was as bored as hell for a few hours and theres this article about pet fish and symptoms they exhibit when they are sick. so maybe my fish weren't just being weird, and were really sick. lol sushi used to sleep up at the top of the bowl with his fins all droopy. apparently thats a sign of lack of oxygen in the water and of skin irritation. stupid retarded london water. hmm or maybe it was the brita water... AND both fishes did this thing called a 'shimmy' where they would swim really fast, but stay in the same spot...think that mc hammer dance.. but for fishes. that's a sign of skin irritation as well. hmm
i used my masterful engineering skills to build me a giant cupcake. i burned my tongue on a hot knife. i am smart.
shopping with matty is very entertaining indeed. i think he may be one of the few guys who truly shops but isnt gay. but if youre ever getting discounts for him, remind him to shut up. he isnt very smooth at all. way to go future millionare.
summer hit me a few nights ago. petrina picked me up from work on saturday and the night was spent just finding out what people are up to, if anything. nothign was happening and it looked like a night at timmy's with the three (we got amanda too) of us in a girl gab fest.. but then the guys called and there was an impromtu late night breakfast at the station. summer is all about the improptu, last minute stuff that you least expect to happen.. sigh.
i am frozen and dreading work.. mer...
