So despite Joker advertising that they have three rooms, it's really only one. We were kinda worried when we walked into the bottom room and found it deserted. Going upstairs we found where everyone was...even tho it was still semi empty when we walked in but semi cheap drinks helped fix that... And I have decided that that Kevin guy I talked to on the phone was GREAT. Thanks to him, no cover and line bypass..and luckily he didn't keep a count, cause then he would have realized my group of 20 turned into about 27 or so...
I enjoyed that the three of them had enough guts to jump on the podium and dance. I needed to be a little more drunk before that would even be a consideration. It's nice seeing that they're still as close as ever. It made me laugh when Cris came up to me and asked me why Ryan and Jacob were bizarro him and Luke. I found it even funnier that he was the one that realized this (cause usually people don't see it themselves) and decided that he and Luke of course were the better looking versions. Me and Amanda actually got the four of them in a picture. It made my night. I think it was the drunkest Luke has been, although he didn't look it. But oh man that boy can hold down a lot of liquor. Surprise visit by Sam was nice. AND I finally got to meet Jeanette's Stephen. He's cute :) Ans so if he's as nice and good as she tells me he is, then I say he's a definite keeper. lol joking..but not at the same time.
I was craving poutine from those stands back in london and although great, johnny's fries just don't cut it. However, the onion rings made me feel a little bit better. mm deep fried battered onions...
OH and went to the Oshawa office on friday for a shift. I wish I could work there all the time, it's so much easier and orderly. It also showed me that some of those situations that you don't think you'll ever have to deal with after highschool still have their place in the workplace as an adult. It something you;ll never be able to leave unfortunatly. Oh the politics and the drama... my gut instincts about people apparently are pretty accurate sometimes, surprisingly. Just hearing the stories; its unbelievable what even grown adults are capable of. We all aren't as mature as we like to think we are.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Chalazion
wednesday was a day straight out of that cartoon 'the weekenders' except of course it was wednesday AND we were missing a fourth. We just hung out...in various places...and found ways to amuse ourselves. And made great fun out of the nothing day.
i LOVE those fried onions in those johnny burgers. The burger themselves are okay, but the FRIED ONIONS...mmmm
a friend of mine hand-fed a fry to a seagull...well, after i convinced him it would be a good idea. After a few tries, the seagull actually came up and snatched it right out from between his fingers. We videotaped it, and the seagull was clearly poised to make an escape even before it got to the fry. What was I doing during this whole time? Hoping his finger didn't get bitten off (afterall fries look a lot liek fingers) and hiding behind my purse. you know, just in case.
I lost the mid-day popsicle challenge. partially cause I was already full from johnny's, partially because I don't really care for banana popsicles, and partially because it was too much...creamy.
I got some on my jeans and I don't know what that ice cream filling is made of (especially since it claims to be low fat) but it left a grease stain.
Tried to 'booby-trap' the playground with our one sad hole. Needless to say , it didn't work.
But that sand sure was quality sand. Almost beach-like.
Finally got a tv and restored balance in the Leung household again. Although now that I think about it, I still haven't touched it.
Looking forward to some dancing tomorrow. Its funny cause we're not really 100% confident about the 'fun' factor of the place...yes fun factor... We just tried to make the night as cheap as possible. And note for next time, calling the clubs gets you a lot more than just emailing them. Yay magical guest list.
i LOVE those fried onions in those johnny burgers. The burger themselves are okay, but the FRIED ONIONS...mmmm
a friend of mine hand-fed a fry to a seagull...well, after i convinced him it would be a good idea. After a few tries, the seagull actually came up and snatched it right out from between his fingers. We videotaped it, and the seagull was clearly poised to make an escape even before it got to the fry. What was I doing during this whole time? Hoping his finger didn't get bitten off (afterall fries look a lot liek fingers) and hiding behind my purse. you know, just in case.
I lost the mid-day popsicle challenge. partially cause I was already full from johnny's, partially because I don't really care for banana popsicles, and partially because it was too much...creamy.
I got some on my jeans and I don't know what that ice cream filling is made of (especially since it claims to be low fat) but it left a grease stain.
Tried to 'booby-trap' the playground with our one sad hole. Needless to say , it didn't work.
But that sand sure was quality sand. Almost beach-like.
Finally got a tv and restored balance in the Leung household again. Although now that I think about it, I still haven't touched it.
Looking forward to some dancing tomorrow. Its funny cause we're not really 100% confident about the 'fun' factor of the place...yes fun factor... We just tried to make the night as cheap as possible. And note for next time, calling the clubs gets you a lot more than just emailing them. Yay magical guest list.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
greek food and the Freshly Squeezed special
So even though I can't exactly make you a list of all the things that have been keeping me occupied (cause in all honesty it feels as though I've been doing nothing), I feel as though I've been so busy and as though right now is the first time that I've actually had nothing to do. Well not NOTHING cause there is the ever-present homework situation, but nothing that needs to get done or requires me leaving the house.
Jeanette and I both decided today that leaving for university slightly screwed us. And we both agreed that with what we pay in rent every month (and utilities and food and whatever else), we would have had a car by now if we had stayed....easily. Not a new one, or a nice one, but one that runs. AND if we had actually put our minds into saving for one. Things are differnet when it comes down to: you HAVE to pay vs. you SHOULD pay.
Yesterday went out for an impromptu wing session after afterlife didn't work out for us. Ryan brought Mona, which threw me off at first just cause one, I didn't know they still kept in touch and two, when was the last time I saw her? It was weird just cause shes a part of my old old old old old life. It was almost like a mini Bede reunion...except for the fact that I usually see Ryan and Anthony...
Submitted my first essay for this english course last Friday. I'm gonna admit, it's a piece of shit. A weak thesis, crappy supporting arguements, and you know me, I have no concept of grammar or sentence structure. But I had no time and it was a rushed job (definitly!) and I only knew half of what I was talking about. Hrm, reminds me that I need to figure out when this test is so i can request some time off....
next friday, gonna be heading to Oshawa to cover a shift. This should be quite interesting.
Jeanette and I both decided today that leaving for university slightly screwed us. And we both agreed that with what we pay in rent every month (and utilities and food and whatever else), we would have had a car by now if we had stayed....easily. Not a new one, or a nice one, but one that runs. AND if we had actually put our minds into saving for one. Things are differnet when it comes down to: you HAVE to pay vs. you SHOULD pay.
Yesterday went out for an impromptu wing session after afterlife didn't work out for us. Ryan brought Mona, which threw me off at first just cause one, I didn't know they still kept in touch and two, when was the last time I saw her? It was weird just cause shes a part of my old old old old old life. It was almost like a mini Bede reunion...except for the fact that I usually see Ryan and Anthony...
Submitted my first essay for this english course last Friday. I'm gonna admit, it's a piece of shit. A weak thesis, crappy supporting arguements, and you know me, I have no concept of grammar or sentence structure. But I had no time and it was a rushed job (definitly!) and I only knew half of what I was talking about. Hrm, reminds me that I need to figure out when this test is so i can request some time off....
next friday, gonna be heading to Oshawa to cover a shift. This should be quite interesting.
Friday, May 13, 2005
achoo, bless me
i am sick.
the point of the sickness that you only feel yourself getting worse, not better.
i knew the busy-ness and lack of sleep would eventually catch up to me. low immune system. it was inevitable. i never recover from these things unscathed.
so the plan on this rainy night? neocitran and some sleep. maybe a book too. not one i choose to read, but so far, most of the ones for this course aren't bad. i really liked the princess and the goblin. made the rushed reading of it not bad at all.
the complete nonsense of edward lear tonight it is.
the point of the sickness that you only feel yourself getting worse, not better.
i knew the busy-ness and lack of sleep would eventually catch up to me. low immune system. it was inevitable. i never recover from these things unscathed.
so the plan on this rainy night? neocitran and some sleep. maybe a book too. not one i choose to read, but so far, most of the ones for this course aren't bad. i really liked the princess and the goblin. made the rushed reading of it not bad at all.
the complete nonsense of edward lear tonight it is.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
qbert
Today i saw the two sides of my father that i have become accustomed to. One minute a gentleman, the next an asshole. As they say the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, and sometimes i wonder about myself. Truthfully, I saw a bit of myself in it. The part of myself that i know comes out when i'm pissed off or frustrated or put up against a wall. And yes sometimes the other person did deserve it, but watching it as a third person made me think that maybe i should try learning to take the high road and not stoop to their level. I guess cause partially in the end, you'll still look better coming out of it all no matter what the outcome.
The other day i was leaning over to shred some papers at work and i got my hair caught in the paper shredder (yes i am THAT cool). I forget how long it is sometimes and still sometimes find it pretty much in my food thats on my plate. Anyways, i reacted quickly by pulling my hiar outta the teeth of the shredder praying that it would just pull out and wouldnt get caught. Wouldn't that be interesting with me bent over, hair stuck in the damned thing in front of a waiting room full of patients. It only took off about an inch from a section of my hair. No one saw the little incident and the missing hair was not noticable unless i told you since my hair isn't exactly one length anyways. let's just say was uber relieved.
While i was away at school, my dad and brother decided to paint the windows of the house on the outside. I however, did not know that they had painted my window shut accidentally and struggles to get my window open. My dad insisted i was stupid and had left the lock on the window on when i jokingly asked if they had had all the upstairs windows sealed up while i was gone. To make a long story short, me and stephen took turns on a 20 foot ladder trying to cut away the paint of my window while the next door neighbours looked on. We didn't bother doing the bathroom window like we were supposed to.
Don't think i like that destiny place like i used to back in grade 12 or whenever it was when we used to go there. the new place is huge and noisy and the drinks arent as good as i remember them. then again, maybe i shoudlnt be deciding this after having nicki's super sour lemon juice with no sugar in it.. it was.... certainly interesting alright....it was literally tapioca balls in pure lemon juice.
i got 10 outta 10 on my first quiz of summer schoool, yay me! although it was easy. i wish i had taken a speed reading course sometime in life. it would help a lot right about now. damn you two novels in one week! it's not like i don't have other things to do....
sorry yoyo, i tried witht he whole capitalization of tings, but it seems somewhere in the middle i forgot and im not going back to change them all like last time.
The other day i was leaning over to shred some papers at work and i got my hair caught in the paper shredder (yes i am THAT cool). I forget how long it is sometimes and still sometimes find it pretty much in my food thats on my plate. Anyways, i reacted quickly by pulling my hiar outta the teeth of the shredder praying that it would just pull out and wouldnt get caught. Wouldn't that be interesting with me bent over, hair stuck in the damned thing in front of a waiting room full of patients. It only took off about an inch from a section of my hair. No one saw the little incident and the missing hair was not noticable unless i told you since my hair isn't exactly one length anyways. let's just say was uber relieved.
While i was away at school, my dad and brother decided to paint the windows of the house on the outside. I however, did not know that they had painted my window shut accidentally and struggles to get my window open. My dad insisted i was stupid and had left the lock on the window on when i jokingly asked if they had had all the upstairs windows sealed up while i was gone. To make a long story short, me and stephen took turns on a 20 foot ladder trying to cut away the paint of my window while the next door neighbours looked on. We didn't bother doing the bathroom window like we were supposed to.
Don't think i like that destiny place like i used to back in grade 12 or whenever it was when we used to go there. the new place is huge and noisy and the drinks arent as good as i remember them. then again, maybe i shoudlnt be deciding this after having nicki's super sour lemon juice with no sugar in it.. it was.... certainly interesting alright....it was literally tapioca balls in pure lemon juice.
i got 10 outta 10 on my first quiz of summer schoool, yay me! although it was easy. i wish i had taken a speed reading course sometime in life. it would help a lot right about now. damn you two novels in one week! it's not like i don't have other things to do....
sorry yoyo, i tried witht he whole capitalization of tings, but it seems somewhere in the middle i forgot and im not going back to change them all like last time.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
assumptions and shiny gold keys with bonus capitalized sentences for yoyo
Again, yet another thing gets twisted around. It's like when celebrities read the tabloids and find out that they're apparently in rehab for a painkiller addiction because they said once that they took a tylenol. And yes i'm exaggerating, but it paints the right picture. It's just a guess, but i'm pretty sure its just a lot of stuff being picked out of context and read without knowing anything about the situation and also while still being mad at a gajillion other things. But nothing much i can do about it. It's getting kind of funny now. Not to be mean or anything, just feeling kinda disconnected to it all. Not funny haha but amusing funny. hmm.... yes they are different, i've just decided.
So the room is painted and although it was kinda ugly going on, it dried to the colour i wanted (phew), which is good. We found out the landlord was paying for all the paints and supplies which was another bonus of the day. Yay! Saves me about 50 bucks for my room alone. Also picked out colours for the bathrooms and living area. Kristen and i are aiming for a super girly bathroom for ours downstairs cause we figure when else can we do something stupid like that. That's right never, cause it's not really something i wanna have in my real house when i'm old. tried to squeeze all the furniture including the big desk into the smaller room. At one point we just stood in the middle trying to figure things out. Needless to say, i have to get rid of a few things. But yay for reduced rent and i would gladly give up the extra room for the added cash. And as much as i do wanna help, i'm kinda also hoping that the house gets all magically painted by the next time i am able to pay a visit.
I hope you don't want to shoot your head off now. I think i got them all.
So the room is painted and although it was kinda ugly going on, it dried to the colour i wanted (phew), which is good. We found out the landlord was paying for all the paints and supplies which was another bonus of the day. Yay! Saves me about 50 bucks for my room alone. Also picked out colours for the bathrooms and living area. Kristen and i are aiming for a super girly bathroom for ours downstairs cause we figure when else can we do something stupid like that. That's right never, cause it's not really something i wanna have in my real house when i'm old. tried to squeeze all the furniture including the big desk into the smaller room. At one point we just stood in the middle trying to figure things out. Needless to say, i have to get rid of a few things. But yay for reduced rent and i would gladly give up the extra room for the added cash. And as much as i do wanna help, i'm kinda also hoping that the house gets all magically painted by the next time i am able to pay a visit.
I hope you don't want to shoot your head off now. I think i got them all.
Monday, May 02, 2005
bits and bites
it was the first time the drama has reared its ugly head again, but in an indirect way. it was afterall inevitable. as much as i wanted to go and say hi to a few friends that i haven't seen in a while, i also did not have to deal with any reprecussions of my showing up....not that i could guarantee there being any, but it was better safe than sorry i guess. and it was weird sending him there knowing that i wasn't going. leaving his house to go home while he went the other way. a part of me felt like saying hey i'm not going to make this easier for them especially since i was already there with him. but i'm better than that and it wouldnt be fair to everyone else. and i'm trying to realize that eventually i will just have to deal with the chance of drama and just go...and learn that either way whether i see it or not, something will arise from my coming.
in truth i've been semi avoiding this one person, whether she knows it or not. i've tried once in a while, but a part of me just isn't sure and i cower again in my comfortable little corner. but sometimes i feel as though she's just too connected and in an odd spot. and i'm trying to learn that hey i should trust her enough to separate things but trust is a hard thing to keep. but i'm still trying and avoiding just seems so much easier
that reminds me, the other day i was reading random blogs and there was this one girl who was writting about trust. something about her sister and a rumour at their office...cause i guess apparently they worked in the same office. i should have kept the link, it was quite entertaining, i sorta questioned whether it was real or not. but after reading it, i thought it's true.....if i had lost trust in someone, i would propbably be willign to betray them in a heartbeat. well you knwo considering the circumstances, cause afterall they must have done SOMETHING for me to no longer trust them and i'm not one just take things sitting down if i can help it. i mean, i don't owe you anything and i know this is not a great way of seeing things but if you're being stupid about it, i have every right to be stupid too if i chose to. if you slapped me in the face, i would have no problem kicking you back...but harder.
so after visiting the house on saturday, we girls realize that we have a bit of work ahead of us. and even though it seems like a lot, we figure when else are we gonna be given an oppertunity like this. and from hearing other people's horror stories, we don't feel so overwhelmed afterall. i just hope some things are cleaned really well when i get there tomorrow. oh man boys are gross. i should pack gloves just in case. but it's painting the room tomrrow and unloading the rest of the things off the truck and this time the boy will be coming nad meeting the 'family'. lol
and this children's literature course may kill me even before it officially starts.
in truth i've been semi avoiding this one person, whether she knows it or not. i've tried once in a while, but a part of me just isn't sure and i cower again in my comfortable little corner. but sometimes i feel as though she's just too connected and in an odd spot. and i'm trying to learn that hey i should trust her enough to separate things but trust is a hard thing to keep. but i'm still trying and avoiding just seems so much easier
that reminds me, the other day i was reading random blogs and there was this one girl who was writting about trust. something about her sister and a rumour at their office...cause i guess apparently they worked in the same office. i should have kept the link, it was quite entertaining, i sorta questioned whether it was real or not. but after reading it, i thought it's true.....if i had lost trust in someone, i would propbably be willign to betray them in a heartbeat. well you knwo considering the circumstances, cause afterall they must have done SOMETHING for me to no longer trust them and i'm not one just take things sitting down if i can help it. i mean, i don't owe you anything and i know this is not a great way of seeing things but if you're being stupid about it, i have every right to be stupid too if i chose to. if you slapped me in the face, i would have no problem kicking you back...but harder.
so after visiting the house on saturday, we girls realize that we have a bit of work ahead of us. and even though it seems like a lot, we figure when else are we gonna be given an oppertunity like this. and from hearing other people's horror stories, we don't feel so overwhelmed afterall. i just hope some things are cleaned really well when i get there tomorrow. oh man boys are gross. i should pack gloves just in case. but it's painting the room tomrrow and unloading the rest of the things off the truck and this time the boy will be coming nad meeting the 'family'. lol
and this children's literature course may kill me even before it officially starts.
Monday, April 25, 2005
granola, breakfast of champions
it's all done. finally. although this year has passed with surprising speed.
i currently have a carload of stuff in the middle of my living room floor. i am so glad my mom isn't here to yell at me. i was so close to not taking it out of the car at all. and part of me knows that most of it will never get unpacked.
it felt kinda weird packing up my room. weird in a this is actually happening in a way. if it were my memoirs, this is where another chapter would be ending and in the movie verison, where the scene would get all quiet and end.
moving my computer into my room just now has made me realize how much crap i have sitting around in boxes and in corners and on my bookshelves. things i for some reason wanted to hold on to. and for some reason now, i just don't have that same need to keep them around. so i figure i should go with this new wave of clearing things and finally clean out my room.
i currently have a carload of stuff in the middle of my living room floor. i am so glad my mom isn't here to yell at me. i was so close to not taking it out of the car at all. and part of me knows that most of it will never get unpacked.
it felt kinda weird packing up my room. weird in a this is actually happening in a way. if it were my memoirs, this is where another chapter would be ending and in the movie verison, where the scene would get all quiet and end.
moving my computer into my room just now has made me realize how much crap i have sitting around in boxes and in corners and on my bookshelves. things i for some reason wanted to hold on to. and for some reason now, i just don't have that same need to keep them around. so i figure i should go with this new wave of clearing things and finally clean out my room.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
aftershocks
i haven't really had time to think about it, actually i really didn't let myself at first. but i just couldnt help it the other day. i think it scares me that apparently you couldn't help yourself. that you in some way had no control. it scares me that i would have never known if things didn't explode. it scares me because it sounds like it just happened, that there was no reason, so i still don't know why. things were good, there were no arguements; if anything, i began to understand and for lack of other words, accept who you were better.
and i guess, now i know how it is...not that i ever wanted you to have to make a choice. you know i never asked you to... but to sound cliche, actions speak louder than words and what you did showed me something. honestly, i feel as though because it just happened, you instinctively decided what you wanted to do. you knew i just wanted to end things...even if they were on bad terms. i wasn't up for another fight.
just as some are newly formed, some are breaking down. and yeah through this all admittedly, i do miss what i had sometimes. but honestly the memories have been so long ago and so clouded with what has happened that i almost don't remember them anymore. and i think thats why it's not so hard to say goodbye after a while.. when everything that you remember is bad.
i do still wanna try. but i'm tired and trust doesn't come easily. sometimes i'm sad, sometimes i'm numb to it all. i'm trying. it'll work itself out one way or another.
i'm a whole new person because of everything....and i'm not sure if thats a good thing or not yet. the jury is still out.
and i guess, now i know how it is...not that i ever wanted you to have to make a choice. you know i never asked you to... but to sound cliche, actions speak louder than words and what you did showed me something. honestly, i feel as though because it just happened, you instinctively decided what you wanted to do. you knew i just wanted to end things...even if they were on bad terms. i wasn't up for another fight.
just as some are newly formed, some are breaking down. and yeah through this all admittedly, i do miss what i had sometimes. but honestly the memories have been so long ago and so clouded with what has happened that i almost don't remember them anymore. and i think thats why it's not so hard to say goodbye after a while.. when everything that you remember is bad.
i do still wanna try. but i'm tired and trust doesn't come easily. sometimes i'm sad, sometimes i'm numb to it all. i'm trying. it'll work itself out one way or another.
i'm a whole new person because of everything....and i'm not sure if thats a good thing or not yet. the jury is still out.
Monday, April 18, 2005
sizzle
i finally got to lay outside and feel my skin burn under the sun. and even tho the grass had bare patches and every once in a while a train would pass, and we were technically supposed to be studying, it was perfect.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
eraser bits
it's almost all over. three more exams in four days.
I was looking forward to having the car all to myself when i got back. it was mainly just having it available; not that i had any real plans with it. days filled with spontaneous adventures and errands or just lounging before things got busy again. but those days are all already filled up somehow...with moving, working, and just random miscellaneous. I won't be getting much of the house all to myself afterall it seems before mom gets back. I'm still kinda surprised at how my week of nothing got so crammed.
Also, because i'm only here for so long, i refused to get more groceries and am determined to live off of what i have here...that and i was too lazy to walk over to the a&p and figure out what to buy that would only last me about a week. So as of late, every day has sorta been an iron chef competition with myself as i try to get creative with my one 'theme' ingredient i pick each meal. but thanks to mommy and daddy wong today, i was spared from my lunchtime battle. i haven't had soup noodles for soo long. mmmm
this moving thing is getting COMPLICATED. okay, it's not really, but there are just a lot of things left up in the air. A lot of things i'm nervous about leaving up in the air cause i'm done soon and leaving here. but at the same time i know i shouldn't be worried, it'll all get worked out. i can't wait to see the house all empty and ready for us to take over. i'm really lookign forward to having the girls there and our little london downtown right there and not having the guys downstairs talk on the porch below my window when i have to get up early the next day.
and i'm also looking forward to restarting anew. spring is a time of rebirth n'est pas?
I was looking forward to having the car all to myself when i got back. it was mainly just having it available; not that i had any real plans with it. days filled with spontaneous adventures and errands or just lounging before things got busy again. but those days are all already filled up somehow...with moving, working, and just random miscellaneous. I won't be getting much of the house all to myself afterall it seems before mom gets back. I'm still kinda surprised at how my week of nothing got so crammed.
Also, because i'm only here for so long, i refused to get more groceries and am determined to live off of what i have here...that and i was too lazy to walk over to the a&p and figure out what to buy that would only last me about a week. So as of late, every day has sorta been an iron chef competition with myself as i try to get creative with my one 'theme' ingredient i pick each meal. but thanks to mommy and daddy wong today, i was spared from my lunchtime battle. i haven't had soup noodles for soo long. mmmm
this moving thing is getting COMPLICATED. okay, it's not really, but there are just a lot of things left up in the air. A lot of things i'm nervous about leaving up in the air cause i'm done soon and leaving here. but at the same time i know i shouldn't be worried, it'll all get worked out. i can't wait to see the house all empty and ready for us to take over. i'm really lookign forward to having the girls there and our little london downtown right there and not having the guys downstairs talk on the porch below my window when i have to get up early the next day.
and i'm also looking forward to restarting anew. spring is a time of rebirth n'est pas?
Monday, April 11, 2005
1
first one down. and one course officially done!! whoohoo.
thank goodness I accidentally met up with Kim on the bus. Who knew my tutorial guy left out all that stuff.
thank goodness I accidentally met up with Kim on the bus. Who knew my tutorial guy left out all that stuff.
the difference was we weren't friends
You ever reach that point where you would do almost anything short of gnawing off your own limb just to make something go away? When you were almost willing to sarcrifice your own arm or leg just so you could get yourself somewhere else? Do anything that allows you to just turn away and leave it behind? When you didn't care what happened because in the end you would be gone?
I didn't want to deal with it anymore. It was easier cutting it short. I'm past it. There's only one goal in mind and thats separating myself right now. No throwing myself back.
I didn't want to deal with it anymore. It was easier cutting it short. I'm past it. There's only one goal in mind and thats separating myself right now. No throwing myself back.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
mini break
Classes are done for another year. I was talking and semi-freaked myself out...third year already. Not saying that it hasn't been a long time getting here, but it just doesn't feel as though I should be in third year. But then again, I kinda have these moments a lot.
Less than two more weeks and then I'm outta here. And yeah it's early this year which is great but I'm kinda jealous of all those who have their exams so beautifully spaced out. Just cause there are a couple of courses I actually have to do well in to get into courses for next year and so far, theyre not looking so good. Oh why did I leave all this reading til the end again? One day I will learn....maybe.
I'm gonna miss Lindsay and Mallory being so close next year. Yeah we didn't do a whole lot, but I liked stopping by after classes just to say hi, watch some tv, and I liked having them around to go grocery shopping with when no one here needed to. And I also like that I'm finally getting to know Natalie's roomate nextdoor... I guess you don't appareciate these things as much til theyre gone. But the extra money in my pocket will be great and having the girls there all the time will make up for it I'm sure. It sucks when they live on the opposite side of campus and you don't wanna come home at night on your own. Sorta like highschool, but without the car or a decent bus system. Cabs can get damn expensive when you're on your own. Oh this makes me think of all the moving struggles I'm gonna inevitably be faced with. booo
now back to the genetics. yay me.
Less than two more weeks and then I'm outta here. And yeah it's early this year which is great but I'm kinda jealous of all those who have their exams so beautifully spaced out. Just cause there are a couple of courses I actually have to do well in to get into courses for next year and so far, theyre not looking so good. Oh why did I leave all this reading til the end again? One day I will learn....maybe.
I'm gonna miss Lindsay and Mallory being so close next year. Yeah we didn't do a whole lot, but I liked stopping by after classes just to say hi, watch some tv, and I liked having them around to go grocery shopping with when no one here needed to. And I also like that I'm finally getting to know Natalie's roomate nextdoor... I guess you don't appareciate these things as much til theyre gone. But the extra money in my pocket will be great and having the girls there all the time will make up for it I'm sure. It sucks when they live on the opposite side of campus and you don't wanna come home at night on your own. Sorta like highschool, but without the car or a decent bus system. Cabs can get damn expensive when you're on your own. Oh this makes me think of all the moving struggles I'm gonna inevitably be faced with. booo
now back to the genetics. yay me.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
lighter
i can't honestly say that i wasn't surprised about the whole thing...because i was. I'm not really sure what induced this. And yeah it may have been a little later than the ideal scenario but it's still something and that i gotta acknowledge it and appreciate it for what it is. i took it as a sign that maybe it was some sort of gesture in some way, and even though it may not have been at all, it was certainly something i think.
it was honest effort. it was genuine (i think). i just appreciate that you did all that.
things are a changin' and i will too
it was honest effort. it was genuine (i think). i just appreciate that you did all that.
things are a changin' and i will too
Monday, April 04, 2005
failing the hunt
two journeys later, still no psp. i'm begining to think that all of them have some sort of pixel problem. and according to the future shop lady, a whole bunch are getting sent back.
oh future shop and your pretty yet very see-through bags. me, being one of those people who just think of strange things like this, was hoping no one would mug me since it was very evident a 300 dollar toy was sitting on my lap.
but hey it was worth a shot and it kept me out of the house for a bit, which was a blessing in disguise i guess.
it was a great day to be out, a little cold for the flipflops i was wearing but still great. i love it when i come home at 830 and the sun is only still setting.
oh future shop and your pretty yet very see-through bags. me, being one of those people who just think of strange things like this, was hoping no one would mug me since it was very evident a 300 dollar toy was sitting on my lap.
but hey it was worth a shot and it kept me out of the house for a bit, which was a blessing in disguise i guess.
it was a great day to be out, a little cold for the flipflops i was wearing but still great. i love it when i come home at 830 and the sun is only still setting.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Thursday, March 31, 2005
here comes the sun
another day of no flipflops! damn you clouds! *shakes fist in anger*
the one day i finally don't have a lab.
foiled, three days in a row.
this trident very bery gum is surprisingly good. i didnt think i would like it but here i sit, chewing and slightly addicted.
ooh and tomorrow is free flip flop getting day! it's this thing from ralph lauren you get after you fill in a survey. me and jackie will be matching...lol. and you're not allowed to laugh if it turns out they are made of paper or high quality bristol board.
summer is coming!!!! i'm so excited!!!!
the one day i finally don't have a lab.
foiled, three days in a row.
this trident very bery gum is surprisingly good. i didnt think i would like it but here i sit, chewing and slightly addicted.
ooh and tomorrow is free flip flop getting day! it's this thing from ralph lauren you get after you fill in a survey. me and jackie will be matching...lol. and you're not allowed to laugh if it turns out they are made of paper or high quality bristol board.
summer is coming!!!! i'm so excited!!!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
second
yeap second post of the day....weird huh. that and i really can't get into this report. let's just say browsing through thousands of scientific articles isn't fun, especially when you wait so long for most of them to load and then they end up not even being in english. so i have lots of time to sit here....doing nothing.
speaking of loading...our internet is uber slow and i can't figure out why. but then again, i'm not the type of person to even begin to understand why.
anyways, the main purpose of this entry...
i've started to only now have time to think. i've started to catch up with things. and yes sometimes i see things and automatically assume, but i've also taught myself to ignore these assumptions. i'm not going to act based on something i've seen. i've learned a lot from the last little while and at the same time i'm also just as confused. what should i do next? should i try and talk? honestly i'm tired of it all. no more analysing, no more trying to get into the mind of someone else, no more! it seemed that i always end up doing the wrong thing no matter what i chose, so why put the effort.
i don't mean any of this in a mean way. just incase somewhow it comes off as that. it's just how it is in my head.
since all that has happened, i need a break. i honestly can't get myself to dive back in right now. it's almost as if during that time something was lost. and no i don't mean a connection or a friendship necessarily, but more of something along the lines of confidence or trust, although those aren't it either. it is this unnamable something that prevents me from doing whatever it is that i think i should be doing. i can't say exactly what made it disappear or fade or when exactly it happened but it did. the closest i can pinpoint it to is sometime after things settled with that first mess and before this second thing, although i didn't realize it back then. something about the whole situation made me look at things differently i guess and that changed a lot of things. and all i have left is a general feeling...one that doesn't make me want to go rushing back into things. and i know this is selfish of me, especially considering the circumstances but i can't try when i'm not ready because it'll end up in a far bigger mess, not to say i don't still regret what happened...i do.
it's not that i want to end things entirely, i do still want to be there, just not right at this moment and just not in the same way. and i know that it'll never be back to where we were, but i don't need that to happen either. so for now baby steps, i need that something to come back...at least a little.
as much as this blog is good to get things off my chest, i sometimes wonder what the point of it is when i can't even write what i want to say.
speaking of loading...our internet is uber slow and i can't figure out why. but then again, i'm not the type of person to even begin to understand why.
anyways, the main purpose of this entry...
i've started to only now have time to think. i've started to catch up with things. and yes sometimes i see things and automatically assume, but i've also taught myself to ignore these assumptions. i'm not going to act based on something i've seen. i've learned a lot from the last little while and at the same time i'm also just as confused. what should i do next? should i try and talk? honestly i'm tired of it all. no more analysing, no more trying to get into the mind of someone else, no more! it seemed that i always end up doing the wrong thing no matter what i chose, so why put the effort.
i don't mean any of this in a mean way. just incase somewhow it comes off as that. it's just how it is in my head.
since all that has happened, i need a break. i honestly can't get myself to dive back in right now. it's almost as if during that time something was lost. and no i don't mean a connection or a friendship necessarily, but more of something along the lines of confidence or trust, although those aren't it either. it is this unnamable something that prevents me from doing whatever it is that i think i should be doing. i can't say exactly what made it disappear or fade or when exactly it happened but it did. the closest i can pinpoint it to is sometime after things settled with that first mess and before this second thing, although i didn't realize it back then. something about the whole situation made me look at things differently i guess and that changed a lot of things. and all i have left is a general feeling...one that doesn't make me want to go rushing back into things. and i know this is selfish of me, especially considering the circumstances but i can't try when i'm not ready because it'll end up in a far bigger mess, not to say i don't still regret what happened...i do.
it's not that i want to end things entirely, i do still want to be there, just not right at this moment and just not in the same way. and i know that it'll never be back to where we were, but i don't need that to happen either. so for now baby steps, i need that something to come back...at least a little.
as much as this blog is good to get things off my chest, i sometimes wonder what the point of it is when i can't even write what i want to say.
