it's starting to actually feel like home.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Sunday, August 08, 2004
COWCAPE!
my mom was never one of those bake cookies, make sure you're okay kind of moms. not to say that there is anything wrong with that i guess... but it kinda just pisses me off when she expects certain things from me. she makes it seem as though i was some horrible kid..(edit: still AM some horrible kid) that somehow no matter how much she tried or did, she could never please me.
i don't need her to be there constantly doting over me, i would never ask for that. but it would just be nice to know that when i come home i can get fed, even if it's leftovers, and not have to worry about groceries and whatnot when im living with capable adults who are still technically raising another child at home other than me. no one cooks here. what the fuck do they eat?
i also don't want her to be complaining about my mess, when she's off making her own. yes my room is disgusting, with clothes and shopping bags strewn on the floor. but i bet you if you ask me where anything is, i can tell you the general vicinity of where it is...even if it is buried under a week's worth of laundry. don't tell me to pick up my shit when i have to sit in yours.
i know i'm far from being the perfect daughter. i know i really should spend more time at home and come home at decent hours. i know sometimes i spend too much money for my own good. but dammit, it's my own money, its not like i'm spending yours. i haven't asked you for anything more than shampoo and bus tickets over the past 4 years. and it's not as though i'm doing anything at 2 in the morning other than sitting on my ass in someone's house. and i'm sure i could be doing more things around the house IF i was home, but really, telling me the thousands of ways i did whatever it was wrong, isn't going to make me want to do it any more. if it's not one thing, she'll complain about another.
on another note: cow capes are the shit. my boyfriend would look great in one...standing in his shopping cart and all. whooosh.
i don't need her to be there constantly doting over me, i would never ask for that. but it would just be nice to know that when i come home i can get fed, even if it's leftovers, and not have to worry about groceries and whatnot when im living with capable adults who are still technically raising another child at home other than me. no one cooks here. what the fuck do they eat?
i also don't want her to be complaining about my mess, when she's off making her own. yes my room is disgusting, with clothes and shopping bags strewn on the floor. but i bet you if you ask me where anything is, i can tell you the general vicinity of where it is...even if it is buried under a week's worth of laundry. don't tell me to pick up my shit when i have to sit in yours.
i know i'm far from being the perfect daughter. i know i really should spend more time at home and come home at decent hours. i know sometimes i spend too much money for my own good. but dammit, it's my own money, its not like i'm spending yours. i haven't asked you for anything more than shampoo and bus tickets over the past 4 years. and it's not as though i'm doing anything at 2 in the morning other than sitting on my ass in someone's house. and i'm sure i could be doing more things around the house IF i was home, but really, telling me the thousands of ways i did whatever it was wrong, isn't going to make me want to do it any more. if it's not one thing, she'll complain about another.
on another note: cow capes are the shit. my boyfriend would look great in one...standing in his shopping cart and all. whooosh.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
its the little things
i know i haven't posted in a while...and really, this post will just be disappointing, especially after the long wait, but i think its needs to be said. i know you don't read this and so maybe that's making doing this a little easier, but THANK YOU. i know people may think its funny and/or just cute in a loser-y way, but i really appreciate that you really really just want to spend time with me...that you're willing to shake up and rearrange your whole schedule just so you get just a little bit of time. i know in the past i've made it harder than it had to be, but you still tried. it amazes me that you're still here sometimes...even after the freak outs and girly moments and the times when i havent been the easiest to deal with. and re-reading this all makes me feel like a loser just writting it, but it something that just needs to get off my chest.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
getting to know you...
so i know its been a while since i last posted. and it just seems that i never have the time to turn on this stupid machine and that nothing really big is happening.. but there is stuff to update you all on.
-im not totally hating the gap...but its almost time to quit. im trying to figure out when would be the best time to say something and how.. hmm
-im getting a new phone.. this sean guy who sold it to me seems uber nice.. he's personally delivering my phone to the office cause he had some problems ordering it. but yeah ill give you the new number once i get it.
-it makes me wonder how things are gonna be next year, when it's such a drama to even plan getting together to discuss a few things. i like how i was the one who was called inflexible when i was the one trying to work around other people's schedules. im sorry if i wasnt willing to let you take your sweet ass time doing whatever it was. cause we all know by the time it was all done, it would have been too late. excuse us, if people have work early the next morning and aren't willing to conform to you and haul ass across the city at 11 oclock at night. it would have been so easy if you had just called jackie and figured things out yourself.. instead of expecting me to figure it out for you. it sorta makes me want to move out even before moving in. but im still excited.
-i burned myself on a pop tart. it's true, the filling is incredibly hot. and when i say burned myself, i mean actually burned myself. my finger is still red and on the verge of blistering. here's a tip: if you take a pop tart out of the toaster and it starts to fall, for goodness sakes just let it fall to the floor and make a mess rather than trying to catch it. cause it will only cruble into a million pieces as it hits your hands and burn you and still make a mess on the floor as you gasp and grasp your fingers in pain.
-50 hours this week. and really, it's not so bad anymore.
-im not totally hating the gap...but its almost time to quit. im trying to figure out when would be the best time to say something and how.. hmm
-im getting a new phone.. this sean guy who sold it to me seems uber nice.. he's personally delivering my phone to the office cause he had some problems ordering it. but yeah ill give you the new number once i get it.
-it makes me wonder how things are gonna be next year, when it's such a drama to even plan getting together to discuss a few things. i like how i was the one who was called inflexible when i was the one trying to work around other people's schedules. im sorry if i wasnt willing to let you take your sweet ass time doing whatever it was. cause we all know by the time it was all done, it would have been too late. excuse us, if people have work early the next morning and aren't willing to conform to you and haul ass across the city at 11 oclock at night. it would have been so easy if you had just called jackie and figured things out yourself.. instead of expecting me to figure it out for you. it sorta makes me want to move out even before moving in. but im still excited.
-i burned myself on a pop tart. it's true, the filling is incredibly hot. and when i say burned myself, i mean actually burned myself. my finger is still red and on the verge of blistering. here's a tip: if you take a pop tart out of the toaster and it starts to fall, for goodness sakes just let it fall to the floor and make a mess rather than trying to catch it. cause it will only cruble into a million pieces as it hits your hands and burn you and still make a mess on the floor as you gasp and grasp your fingers in pain.
-50 hours this week. and really, it's not so bad anymore.
spoiled
sometimes it's nice to be taken care of...even if just a little.
for the past few days, the boy has driven me to work after a hellish 8 hour day of his own. he really didn't have to. i take the bus all the time. but it made the day so much better knowing that someone was there that cared enough to even consider it. and even though to some, it may not be much, to me it means a lot...just cause my family sucks. excuse me while i swoon.. lol i think i found me a good one.
for the past few days, the boy has driven me to work after a hellish 8 hour day of his own. he really didn't have to. i take the bus all the time. but it made the day so much better knowing that someone was there that cared enough to even consider it. and even though to some, it may not be much, to me it means a lot...just cause my family sucks. excuse me while i swoon.. lol i think i found me a good one.
Friday, June 25, 2004
the major forms of oral discourse
and sometimes the cliches are true. sometimes you just don't know what you have til it's gone. but in this case, its more of an 'i'm glad i'm not in so and so's position'. hearing her talk about all her crap just made me more thankful for what i had. yes, its not ideal and there are a few rough spots here and there. but the important things...the things that in the end will be what matters are there. at the end of the day, i know that i could ask for anything.
it all seemed perfect. but one day she opened her eyes and realized things had fallen apart..that she had left everything she had known and moved to another city to start a new life. everything seemed to come as a package deal- and without the boy; the house, the dog, the life she had built, would also be gone.
five years no longer seems so far. we bonded about our young, girlish ideals. how we had everything on a timeline-approximate ages for marriage, the first kid by the time we're thirty (sidenote: does anyone else remember that full house episode where danny tanner the father, freaks out about turning thirty? wasn't DJ like already at least 10 then?), enough time to enjoy our retirement. she says time seems to be running out. and then it hit me...wow thats a lot to accomplish in the span of ten years. i mean even if you date someone for a couple of years and you realize that he/she's not the one, you've narrowed your window even further.
strange how when we were young, growing up took so long and now it just seems to be coming all to fast.
hmm and now looking over this post again, i realized that i went from one thought and sorta drifted to another..but that is the way it is...
and sometimes the cliches are true. sometimes you just don't know what you have til it's gone. but in this case, its more of an 'i'm glad i'm not in so and so's position'. hearing her talk about all her crap just made me more thankful for what i had. yes, its not ideal and there are a few rough spots here and there. but the important things...the things that in the end will be what matters are there. at the end of the day, i know that i could ask for anything.
it all seemed perfect. but one day she opened her eyes and realized things had fallen apart..that she had left everything she had known and moved to another city to start a new life. everything seemed to come as a package deal- and without the boy; the house, the dog, the life she had built, would also be gone.
five years no longer seems so far. we bonded about our young, girlish ideals. how we had everything on a timeline-approximate ages for marriage, the first kid by the time we're thirty (sidenote: does anyone else remember that full house episode where danny tanner the father, freaks out about turning thirty? wasn't DJ like already at least 10 then?), enough time to enjoy our retirement. she says time seems to be running out. and then it hit me...wow thats a lot to accomplish in the span of ten years. i mean even if you date someone for a couple of years and you realize that he/she's not the one, you've narrowed your window even further.
strange how when we were young, growing up took so long and now it just seems to be coming all to fast.
hmm and now looking over this post again, i realized that i went from one thought and sorta drifted to another..but that is the way it is...
Sunday, June 20, 2004
so maybe i should have slept more than four hours before going into my 9 and a half hour shift today. i was in such a crappy mood and realized that i started to take it out on people. like the baguette lady..mer. but really, its not my fault if no one was there at the cash. i need some sleep and then i will be better. these past few weeks have been crazy.. but crazy in a good way i guess. ahhh
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
stripes
so now the hours have been upped to about 47 this week. 27 of them still to go.. ahhh. although im kinda hoping that they send me home early (cause really, wednesdays are usually dead), i also think what the hell am i doing anyways? might as well be earning that wonderful 7.65 an hour.. lol but you know what? im actually starting to like this place. it's true, a smaller staff does make a helluva difference.
speaking of the store. since it has gotten hot, and my jacob knits and old navy three quarter length shirts are no longer appropriate for the 30 degree weather, i have been having problems wearing things that look 'gap-ish'. lets face it, all of my t-shirts are pretty distinctly not gap. the ones that aren't screaming American eagle or bluenotes fake vintage are ones with felix the cat or a little yellow rubber duckie on them. and of course this meant shopping spree. but considering, it wasnt a huge shopping spree. 50% off makes a helluva difference.
i appreciate the dr.'s office so much more now. running around the office for 9 hours is much easier than being people's bitch in a retail setting for 5. it makes a helluva difference (haha i stuck that in again for consistency).
so now the hours have been upped to about 47 this week. 27 of them still to go.. ahhh. although im kinda hoping that they send me home early (cause really, wednesdays are usually dead), i also think what the hell am i doing anyways? might as well be earning that wonderful 7.65 an hour.. lol but you know what? im actually starting to like this place. it's true, a smaller staff does make a helluva difference.
speaking of the store. since it has gotten hot, and my jacob knits and old navy three quarter length shirts are no longer appropriate for the 30 degree weather, i have been having problems wearing things that look 'gap-ish'. lets face it, all of my t-shirts are pretty distinctly not gap. the ones that aren't screaming American eagle or bluenotes fake vintage are ones with felix the cat or a little yellow rubber duckie on them. and of course this meant shopping spree. but considering, it wasnt a huge shopping spree. 50% off makes a helluva difference.
i appreciate the dr.'s office so much more now. running around the office for 9 hours is much easier than being people's bitch in a retail setting for 5. it makes a helluva difference (haha i stuck that in again for consistency).
Sunday, June 06, 2004
millions of peaches
i know this seems to be an ongoing topic for a lot of us, but im really thankful for these past few weeks. and although it hasn't been 'summer' in the same was as summer's past, we really should have ever expected it to be. get-togethers are far less emotionally driven. last year was all about the 'getting it all in before we separate' thing. there just doesn't seem to be that urgency anymore. and no matter what people tell you, its different when you dont see these people on a regular basis. things get awkward, phone calls that were once easy become more strange, simply because the times betweeen talking are only getting bigger. i don't need to be great with everyone, cause as expected the people i NEED to be with me are exactly where they should be. and although i see even these people far less than usual, i like that it's okay to only see them every so often and still be good.
sometimes people just need to suck it up. so what if youre missing out on shit. we all are. and its not just this year either. how many times have people not been able to come to parties or see others cause they had to pull a late shift at the store, or something like that? people need to start realizing that hey a lot of us would kill for an amazing job and gladly sacrifice a few of the impromtu get-togethers just so they know they will be financially sound for at least another school term. you can't complain and then not make an effort. you also can't complain about things you willingly volunteered yourself for.
i see it sometimes...how things have changed since the boy has come along. not saying that he took away from my life or anything, its been quite the opposite. but sometimes i cant help but sit back and wonder if i have indeed turned into one of those girls; one of those girls that i always didnt want to be. it gets confusing, the fine line between choosing your boyfriend over everyone else, and just choosing. i dont know how objective i am. i sometimes wonder if any of the other people feel as though they've lost part of me. i never wanted to do that, if that is the case. i never wanted to be one of those girls attached at the hip, who dragged or was dragged, in some sort of fused two-headed monster...or one of those girls who are stupid and cant function on their own. i guess things are different once you experience them.
i know this seems to be an ongoing topic for a lot of us, but im really thankful for these past few weeks. and although it hasn't been 'summer' in the same was as summer's past, we really should have ever expected it to be. get-togethers are far less emotionally driven. last year was all about the 'getting it all in before we separate' thing. there just doesn't seem to be that urgency anymore. and no matter what people tell you, its different when you dont see these people on a regular basis. things get awkward, phone calls that were once easy become more strange, simply because the times betweeen talking are only getting bigger. i don't need to be great with everyone, cause as expected the people i NEED to be with me are exactly where they should be. and although i see even these people far less than usual, i like that it's okay to only see them every so often and still be good.
sometimes people just need to suck it up. so what if youre missing out on shit. we all are. and its not just this year either. how many times have people not been able to come to parties or see others cause they had to pull a late shift at the store, or something like that? people need to start realizing that hey a lot of us would kill for an amazing job and gladly sacrifice a few of the impromtu get-togethers just so they know they will be financially sound for at least another school term. you can't complain and then not make an effort. you also can't complain about things you willingly volunteered yourself for.
i see it sometimes...how things have changed since the boy has come along. not saying that he took away from my life or anything, its been quite the opposite. but sometimes i cant help but sit back and wonder if i have indeed turned into one of those girls; one of those girls that i always didnt want to be. it gets confusing, the fine line between choosing your boyfriend over everyone else, and just choosing. i dont know how objective i am. i sometimes wonder if any of the other people feel as though they've lost part of me. i never wanted to do that, if that is the case. i never wanted to be one of those girls attached at the hip, who dragged or was dragged, in some sort of fused two-headed monster...or one of those girls who are stupid and cant function on their own. i guess things are different once you experience them.
sitting
it's a 44 hour week this week. but it's not looking so bad actually. 44 hours spread over the course of 7 days doesn't seem so bad at all. however, this does prevent me from visiting the house this weekend with jaxs. booo
sometimes all i need is a little freak out in the laundry room with a good friend. haha. the news was great and weird all at the same time. we'll see how this all reveals itself now wont we? im happy. well after the freaking out is now cleared away that is. but i still dont know what to say.
is it sad and old woman-ish that i am excited that i readvched the 34000 shopper's optimum point level? haha. whatever, that means free crap for me! yipeee
nothing much has happened. i didn't really want to post, just felt more obligated to than anything else. i think that's horrible.
it's a 44 hour week this week. but it's not looking so bad actually. 44 hours spread over the course of 7 days doesn't seem so bad at all. however, this does prevent me from visiting the house this weekend with jaxs. booo
sometimes all i need is a little freak out in the laundry room with a good friend. haha. the news was great and weird all at the same time. we'll see how this all reveals itself now wont we? im happy. well after the freaking out is now cleared away that is. but i still dont know what to say.
is it sad and old woman-ish that i am excited that i readvched the 34000 shopper's optimum point level? haha. whatever, that means free crap for me! yipeee
nothing much has happened. i didn't really want to post, just felt more obligated to than anything else. i think that's horrible.
Thursday, June 03, 2004
while talking about birthday presents
mark: so what do you think i should get for beth? a plant? (he was half joking of course)
me: umm..how long have you been going out with beth now? i think maybe you should get her something more meaningful. a plant is the sorta thing that you give your aunt when she moves into a new house.
mark: lol...i got yoyo's mom a plant when she moved into her new house.
me: see! what you're saying is that beth and yoyo's mom are on the same plant-receiving level.
mark: well i won't get the same plant. i'll get a bigger and more colourful one. they can get pretty expensive!
sigh..oh mark.
mark: so what do you think i should get for beth? a plant? (he was half joking of course)
me: umm..how long have you been going out with beth now? i think maybe you should get her something more meaningful. a plant is the sorta thing that you give your aunt when she moves into a new house.
mark: lol...i got yoyo's mom a plant when she moved into her new house.
me: see! what you're saying is that beth and yoyo's mom are on the same plant-receiving level.
mark: well i won't get the same plant. i'll get a bigger and more colourful one. they can get pretty expensive!
sigh..oh mark.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
you can kiss my ass html
so even though i am computer stupid, i managed to figure out this blog thing on my own. oh man. so the comments are back and im feeling awesome, as i usually do after i conquer things like this. quite minor and insignificant to some, but a major accomplishment over here. *beams* however, what i won't tell you right off the bat was that it was largely trial and error. a lot of "hmm lets paste this over...here" and "hmmm....what happens if we delete...this". but i figure some form of thought had to be put into it..you know, with the choosing of what random thing to do and all. but thank you brian for trying. was almost going to give up.
so even though i am computer stupid, i managed to figure out this blog thing on my own. oh man. so the comments are back and im feeling awesome, as i usually do after i conquer things like this. quite minor and insignificant to some, but a major accomplishment over here. *beams* however, what i won't tell you right off the bat was that it was largely trial and error. a lot of "hmm lets paste this over...here" and "hmmm....what happens if we delete...this". but i figure some form of thought had to be put into it..you know, with the choosing of what random thing to do and all. but thank you brian for trying. was almost going to give up.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
major discoveries
i was reading reader's digest at work, cause i was as bored as hell for a few hours and theres this article about pet fish and symptoms they exhibit when they are sick. so maybe my fish weren't just being weird, and were really sick. lol sushi used to sleep up at the top of the bowl with his fins all droopy. apparently thats a sign of lack of oxygen in the water and of skin irritation. stupid retarded london water. hmm or maybe it was the brita water... AND both fishes did this thing called a 'shimmy' where they would swim really fast, but stay in the same spot...think that mc hammer dance.. but for fishes. that's a sign of skin irritation as well. hmm
i used my masterful engineering skills to build me a giant cupcake. i burned my tongue on a hot knife. i am smart.
shopping with matty is very entertaining indeed. i think he may be one of the few guys who truly shops but isnt gay. but if youre ever getting discounts for him, remind him to shut up. he isnt very smooth at all. way to go future millionare.
summer hit me a few nights ago. petrina picked me up from work on saturday and the night was spent just finding out what people are up to, if anything. nothign was happening and it looked like a night at timmy's with the three (we got amanda too) of us in a girl gab fest.. but then the guys called and there was an impromtu late night breakfast at the station. summer is all about the improptu, last minute stuff that you least expect to happen.. sigh.
i am frozen and dreading work.. mer...
i was reading reader's digest at work, cause i was as bored as hell for a few hours and theres this article about pet fish and symptoms they exhibit when they are sick. so maybe my fish weren't just being weird, and were really sick. lol sushi used to sleep up at the top of the bowl with his fins all droopy. apparently thats a sign of lack of oxygen in the water and of skin irritation. stupid retarded london water. hmm or maybe it was the brita water... AND both fishes did this thing called a 'shimmy' where they would swim really fast, but stay in the same spot...think that mc hammer dance.. but for fishes. that's a sign of skin irritation as well. hmm
i used my masterful engineering skills to build me a giant cupcake. i burned my tongue on a hot knife. i am smart.
shopping with matty is very entertaining indeed. i think he may be one of the few guys who truly shops but isnt gay. but if youre ever getting discounts for him, remind him to shut up. he isnt very smooth at all. way to go future millionare.
summer hit me a few nights ago. petrina picked me up from work on saturday and the night was spent just finding out what people are up to, if anything. nothign was happening and it looked like a night at timmy's with the three (we got amanda too) of us in a girl gab fest.. but then the guys called and there was an impromtu late night breakfast at the station. summer is all about the improptu, last minute stuff that you least expect to happen.. sigh.
i am frozen and dreading work.. mer...
Friday, May 28, 2004
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
those are the strings pinocchio
this week has been a crazy blur of work, work, and more work. and although things seem to be falling apart for those around me, right now things for once, seem to be alright (for me at least). i dont know what it is but even though im busy and things aren't at all perfect, there is just a feeling of content.
i dont knw how long i can last doing this retail garbage again. yes its better that the store is smaller but its still selling shit i dont really care about. i watch some of these people and they're spewing out product knowledge and are selling these clothes in an almost super hero fashion. they just seem to fit the part if that makes any sense. i cant hide in this small store. i have no corners to slip away in. people are starting to secretly hate me cause i've taken their cash position. that's right, i overheard them talking. but a large part of me doesn't care..as long as im the one at cash, they can hate me all they want. but i think i can survive for another two months or so.. oh man.
this week has been a crazy blur of work, work, and more work. and although things seem to be falling apart for those around me, right now things for once, seem to be alright (for me at least). i dont know what it is but even though im busy and things aren't at all perfect, there is just a feeling of content.
i dont knw how long i can last doing this retail garbage again. yes its better that the store is smaller but its still selling shit i dont really care about. i watch some of these people and they're spewing out product knowledge and are selling these clothes in an almost super hero fashion. they just seem to fit the part if that makes any sense. i cant hide in this small store. i have no corners to slip away in. people are starting to secretly hate me cause i've taken their cash position. that's right, i overheard them talking. but a large part of me doesn't care..as long as im the one at cash, they can hate me all they want. but i think i can survive for another two months or so.. oh man.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Monday, May 17, 2004
monday
-so yes i may have blew up and exploded on the worst day possible to blow up and explode..but i did. and i feel bad. and yeah. i'm sorry :(
-there is this little one year old boy named dylan and he is all things good and shiny and giggly wrapped up in a little baby package. dark curly hair, five little white teeth and a dimple on the left cheek is too cute of a combination to ignore even when you're sitting in a funeral. and yes we accidentally made him laugh while trying to secretly make faces at him, which isn't the most appropriate thing to do, but oh man, that kid is great.
-i'm glad i wouldn't have been the only one who would have been frustrated to no end with this whole.. um.. situation. and that is why we are what we are.lol and i would like to say that at least this tells me that i am somewhat normal and justified in my thinking, but really, just cause you agree, doesn't mean anything other than we are both ..mer. lol
-i'm trying to restore my room to some state of 'room', instead of living in the landfil that it is now.
-i am absolutly dreading this week of work. but i cant not work and i would be complaining about the boredom of doing nothing all day, every day eventually. so really, im just a big complainer. i just wish fairview wasnt so fricken far..
-finally changed ketchup and sushi's water. it was getting gross in there...to a point where i couldnt ignore the green sludge that seemed to be growing within their bowl. i couldn't even suck it out with the turkey baster. im assuming its algae that grew since the bowl's been sitting near the window..but eww the bowl itself was slimey. i did a full water change and washed everything clean, which i think might kill the fish since its such a drastic change of environment. but then again, ive done far worse to these fish and they seemed to have survived.
-sometimes i wonder if things are just changed around when they come out of your mouth because you dont want to admit to yourself or us that they are really that bad. but sometimes i think that you really think these dillusional things.
-so yes i may have blew up and exploded on the worst day possible to blow up and explode..but i did. and i feel bad. and yeah. i'm sorry :(
-there is this little one year old boy named dylan and he is all things good and shiny and giggly wrapped up in a little baby package. dark curly hair, five little white teeth and a dimple on the left cheek is too cute of a combination to ignore even when you're sitting in a funeral. and yes we accidentally made him laugh while trying to secretly make faces at him, which isn't the most appropriate thing to do, but oh man, that kid is great.
-i'm glad i wouldn't have been the only one who would have been frustrated to no end with this whole.. um.. situation. and that is why we are what we are.lol and i would like to say that at least this tells me that i am somewhat normal and justified in my thinking, but really, just cause you agree, doesn't mean anything other than we are both ..mer. lol
-i'm trying to restore my room to some state of 'room', instead of living in the landfil that it is now.
-i am absolutly dreading this week of work. but i cant not work and i would be complaining about the boredom of doing nothing all day, every day eventually. so really, im just a big complainer. i just wish fairview wasnt so fricken far..
-finally changed ketchup and sushi's water. it was getting gross in there...to a point where i couldnt ignore the green sludge that seemed to be growing within their bowl. i couldn't even suck it out with the turkey baster. im assuming its algae that grew since the bowl's been sitting near the window..but eww the bowl itself was slimey. i did a full water change and washed everything clean, which i think might kill the fish since its such a drastic change of environment. but then again, ive done far worse to these fish and they seemed to have survived.
-sometimes i wonder if things are just changed around when they come out of your mouth because you dont want to admit to yourself or us that they are really that bad. but sometimes i think that you really think these dillusional things.
